Shoes & Truths

Well guys and gals, what can I say?
I had quite a week of it last week, what with one thing and another.
By the time my husband came back from Australia I had decided once and for all that I was going to leave him.
There is only so much phyiscal and mental abuse that one person can put up with. I finally reached my level, and decided that enough was enough.
I want to be happy in life, is that so much to ask?
New York was where I have been at my happiest, so that is where I was going to go. I spoke to 'C', yes you read that right, and he said that I could stay with him until I got sorted. That was all I needed to hear, so I booked my one way flight.
The strange thing was, Noah didn't put up a fight like I thought he would. After all the grief he put me through, I was surprised but how easily he let me go. I have my suspicions he is plotting something, but I am not sure what.
He had bought me back a present from Australia, and insisted that I take it with me and open it when I got to New York. He had bought me some pink suede Lolo69 Christian Louboutins. They have to be the most stunning pair of shoes I have ever seen.
I have to confess, Noah is the one that has bought me my whole collection of Christian Louboutins. When I first met him, he bought me a pair. And throughout our time together he has bought me more pairs. I have bought some Jimmy Choo's for myself, and even a pair of Prada shoes, but never Christian Louboutins. It's almost as if they were mine and Noah's "thing".
I was surprised by the gift. He hasn't given me one in a while. But I suppose when you go on trips you buy presents for each other. But maybe he had an inkling of what I was planning on doing, and bought the shoes on purpose? Kind of like "this'll be what your missing" type thing? Or maybe he bought them because he saw them and knew I'd love them?
I don't know. I can't put anything past Noah.
So, I arrived in New York very late on Saturday. I went straight to 'C's house. I filled him in on the last few months of my life, and he told me it was great to see me again. You can imagine that practically melted me inside. For those of you who don't know, 'C' is 'The One'. Just sitting there and talking to him made me feel the happiest I have been in a long time.
Since then I have been looking for an apartment for myself. I have an idea of what I want, and I have a price range. This week is all about looking for somewhere to live. I am hoping I will be able to be in somewhere before Christmas. I know that is not a lot of time, but all my dealings in real estate have ran pretty smoothly. Perhaps that's because I know someone who has been able to "hurry things along".
I feel so much better and happier, but not completely off the hook. I am waiting for Noah's next move. He will bide his time, he'll surprise me when I least expect it.. But I just know he is going to do something. I just know. Just as he knows me inside out, I know him pretty damn well too. I know that he has to have the last word on everything.
I have been speaking to my Croatian BF Cora, and she said she will keep an eye on Noah and his partner in crime JN.
Meanwhile in New York I have to re-establish myself. The last time I was here I had C, E, DJ, Kate & Ste. This time round I have just C. And of course time has moved on since we were together. As a matter of fact, it has been over a year since we had our proper "thing". There were other "things" since then, but the "real thing" was a year ago.
I have lots to figure out too. So I am expecting a busy few weeks.
I will try and keep you up to date, but who knows when I'll write again?

A Day At The Office

My husband has gone to Australia for the week on a buisness trip.
He has quite a big company that has bases in several countries.
Whilst he is away he asked me (or should I say, told me?) to open and close head office, which is in Croatia [where we live].
A simple enough task. I work in the office anyway, on reception and as a PA to my husband. He gave me the keys and strict instuctions.
So what did I do? Well, at first I did as I was told. I opened up, everyone went to their respective offices and rooms. I want to our office, opened the mail. Responded to letters and phonecalls as much as I could without my husbands help. Then I made myself a drink and decided to have a little "break". I had bought my JLS cd with me, and I thought I'd listen to it for a bit. I have it on my IPod and in my car, but the CD ended up making the trip too. So I opened the cd player, put the cd in and pressed play. The next thing, JLS "Beat Again" is blaring out on the PA/speaker system for the whole office!! Every room, every office, even the toilets! The was Croatia's first tase of JLS, I think!!
I was so embarrassed. But that wasn't the only problem I had today. Trying to find information and things in my husbands office, only to find all the draws and cupboards locked. It wasn't very helpful at all. It limited how much I could help people, and how many questions I could answer of clients and potential clients.
When my husband is at work I usually just open the mail, answer basic questions, answer the telephone, and do basic filing.
But this week I have a bigger responsiblity, and yet doing them was twice as hard because I didn't have the nessasary stuff to help me. I was so frustrated!!
I thought I would start writing this blog again, because I used to find it quite helpful having somewhere to write down my thoughts and feelings.
I made another blog a week or so ago called "Beat Again", but I am not going to use that one for now. Even though I have deleted the entries from this one time and time again, I keep coming back to it. There is just something about this blog!!
So anyway, I have four (possibly more) days left of running the office. I spoke to my husband and asked him how I was supposed to do everything he asked of me when he had locked away all the resources? He wasn't too happy with me for speaking to him like that, but he is obviously having a good time in Australia because he didn't fly off the handle like he usually does.
He told me where the keys to the cupboards were, so that I could get all books, booklets, pamphlets and information that potential clients would need. And he told me to direct any "urgent" calls from clients to his mobile. But he didn't tell me where to find the keys to his desk, and I couldn't find them!! I looked!! Because I wanted to know what he was hiding in there!
He is so damn secretive! He locks his study at home too. I can't get in to their either! When he is working in his study in the evenings, he makes me knock before I go in! I should have known he wouldn't give me the oppportunity to snoop whilst he was away!
I don't think it's that he is "up to" anything, I just think that he doesn't trust me. That is a long story, that I am not going to go in to now.
Previous blog readers will know some of the basics of my turbulent relationship with my husband. As I said, I am not going go to too much in to it now, but as you will come to see our marriage isn't exactly what you'd call a happy one.
I had the weekend "off" this week. My friend Cora stayed on Saturday night, so that she could look after my daughter and let me have my first lie-in in months! Cora is such a great friend. She is gorgeous, she has a heart of pure gold and she is so sweet. She is kind and considerate, and always puts everyone else before herself without being a doormat. I am blessed to have her in my life. She had other commitments, so my Saturday tea time she was off. But that extra few hours in bed made all the difference to me.
But do you ever find that two days off isn't actually long enough for you to overcome the tiredness before it all starts again? So I woke up this morning and wanted nothing more than to just stay there all day. Sod work. But of course I couldn't.
So that was my first day in charge. No doubt I will get in a lot of trouble when my husband finds out about the JLS incident. But I am was not too worried about that on it's own. But if you mix in to the equation that on Friday just hours after my husband left for Australia, I curbed his Holden Monaro.. Well that is just me in a whole lot of trouble!! That is two bad strikes against me, after just three days!! And believe me, nothing escapes my husband's attention!
Anyway, I have spent an hour writing this, so I think that will be all for today.